In honor of the lone visit of the season to the Wasatch Front by the Kansas City Wizards tomorrow, we figured the least we could do for them would be to roll out the Best XI in Wizards history.  However, most of the list below won’t be wizards in the traditional “we-hail-from-the-Midwest and play soccer” variety… continue on after the jump for another magicial edition of the Behind the Shield Best XI, wizards style.

Normally we might just roll this out Top 10 style, but then we thought that ranking wizards might cause us incredible harm and lead to wizard-on-wizard violence which, while always entertaining and a visual wonder, is never encouraged. Thus, here’s the best wizards in a traditional 4-4-2:

GK – Merlin (the Magician): Goalkeepers seem to live forever, and from what we can tell Merlin is the oldest of the lot. As long as The Lady of the Lake is not on the opposing team, Merlin’s keeping a clean sheet.

DEF – Jimmy Conrad – Gotta include “Captain Kansas City” on the list, as Conrad has been the face of the Wizards since joining the club in 2003. When he’s not writing or talking into a microphone for one of his seemingly 7,495 rotating media gigs, Conrad holds his own in the middle of the baclkine for both for the ex-Missouri Azzuri and the U.S. Men’s National Team

DEF – The Wizard of Oz: Lining up on the right flank is possibly the most famous wizard of them all. He helped Dorothy get back to Kansas, and this season the Wizards are playing in Kansas. Coincidence? I think not!

DEF – Kazaam (as played by Shaquille O’Neal): Technically, Kazaam was a genie and not a wizard, but we feel that Shaq’s tour-de-force performance in the 1996 comedy classic has been overlooked for too long. And since all Shaq is good for these days is defense, he’s obviously included on the backline.

DEF – Ozzie Smith: A Missouri connection makes the list in the person of former St. Louis Cardinals shortstop Ozzie Smith, the other “Wizard of Oz.” Anyone who can make the Baseball Hall of Fame on pretty much defense alone has to be included on the backline, and although he was equally adept at ranging to his right and left, we’ll stick Smith on the left flank. The Wizards might wish Ozzie were available for selection this weekend, as nobody played better on astroturf.

MID – Your friend that always played Dungeons & Dragons: Come on, you all know that you had a friend or two in high school that played Dungeons & Dragons (we’d never insinuate that you were one of them too!). You remember, the “level 37″ wizard who tried to cast spells on kids in the hallway and such. Well, we’re sticking him in the defensive midfield not only to wreck some havoc, but because we also know he’s never going to score.

MID – Harry Potter: Although he’s considered more of a Quidditch prodigy, we’ll take the young Mr. Potter on our wizards squad to man the right flank. No truth to the rumor that MLS is currently looking to sign him to a developmental contract. 

MID – Alex Russo: From the blatent plug department comes the addition of Alex Russo, a character from the Disney Channel program “The Wizards of Waverly Place.” Just so happens that Selena Gomez, the actress that portrays Alex, will be appearing at CommunityAmerica Ballpark in Kansas City, Kansas, on June 28, which is when RSL will travel to the midwest to take on the Wizards. For tickets, visit www.kcwizards.com! (to our friends at Hillcrest Road, we’ll take our commission in stadium hot dogs on the 28th!)

MID – Predrag Radosavljevic: But you might know him as Preki, or The Preki. Fitting that a wizard on the ball like Preki would spend nine seasons in Kansas City, where he became the only player to win two MLS MVP awards and earned a spot on the MLS All-Time Best XI back in 2005.

FWD – Gilbert Arenas: No doubt that the biggest offensive threat on the Washington Wizards would be included in our line-up. Actually, we’re just hoping that Gilbert decides to link us to his blog… come on Gil, throw us a bone here!

FWD – Gandalf: The venerable wizard from the Lord of the Rings trilogy rounds out our starting XI. While Arenas may be a proven scorer and post-up presence in our line-up, Gandolph’s smaller stature (listed on wikipedia as “somewhere between dwarf and human sized) makes him the perfect complement to “Agent Zero” up top.

HEAD COACH-  John Wooden: The legendary UCLA basketball coach known as the “The Wizard of Westwood” is still kickin’ it at the age of 97, even though he had to put up with Bill Walton for four years (which is reason enough to believe he might have magic powers!). Wooden’s known most for his 10 NCAA championships, his “Seven Point Creed” (before the advent of the 3-point shot), and his “Wooden-isms”… one of which might cross over seemlessly to the soccer field: “Little things make big things happen.”